Pamela is a beautiful, active, successful woman. She’s created companies, sold them, traded on Wall Street, oh yeah, and she’s a private investigator in her spare time. She collects information for high profile attorneys and spends a lot of time in court testifying about the adventures she’s had in her life – helping defend victims of crime.
To talk to her is a remarkable experience. As I sit here typing about it I can feel the energy she transfers with her enthusiasm and love of life. It’s contagious. I felt so much better about my life, my challenges, my blessings after talking with her for a couple of hours. She is remarkable in many ways.
She told me so many stories – just amazing that one person could have so many experiences in one lifetime. But to me the most interesting thing she told me was the story of recovering from being a victim. A client she was working with sexually assaulted her. But that’s not the story, that just sets it up…
Pamela is not one to sit around and feel bad about being a victim. She knew she was hurt, she went to a doctor, and started working on getting better. The way she spoke of it I got the impression she felt like she had broken a leg, so the quicker you set the leg and put a cast on it the quicker the cast would come off and the sooner she could get back to her life.
She started seeing two therapists. She told each one “challenge me, really push me, I’m ready to heal”. Every weekly session she would start by pushing the therapists to push her. A slight look of frustration passes over her face as she tells me “but then all they would do is ask “how do you feel about that” for an hour”.
After nine months she had fired one therapist, and still was not recovering her love of life like she had hoped. She was used to the cycles of life, the ups and the downs, but all she had felt for nine months was down . She wondered if she’d ever get back to normal – she wanted to feel the highs again.
She confessed this fact to the doctor before her last session started – and the doctor replied that Pamela was not going to get better without the help of depression medication. Pamela felt very strongly that depression medication wasn’t the answer – she didn’t want to cut out the lows, she wanted the highs back. She was sure there was a better way. The therapists assured her that without those pills she would never be cured…
She fired the therapist right then and there. Not knowing what to do next, she decided to escape the Utah winter and rented a place down in Coronado California for a month.
All through this process of trying to heal she had meditated as a way to regain control of her life, but the only time she had really felt good in those nine months was when she was running. She would feel good for 15 or 20 minutes after the run, but then would slide back into her depression.
In California she discovered the key that would help her make that change permanent.
She told me that she has three instrumental songs on her iPod, and each section of her meditation is based on those three songs. During the first song she meditates about gratitude. She just thinks deeply and with great feeling about all the things in her life that she’s truly grateful for. Friends, family, lovers, stuff, it all goes through her mind slowly and with great feeling.
During the second song she visualizes her future. She envisions the life she wants to lead, works to visualize even the smallest details of the fun she’s having, the people she’s helping, and the successful life that she leads.
Then during the final song… she dances… like a crazy woman.
I know! I was stunned by that confession too! She laughed right out loud (people looked at us) at my reaction to that. But that’s what she does. She dances like all of the joy in her cannot be contained any more, and she releases it through pure musical celebration.
She told me that was the key. That’s what brought her out of her depression, that’s what took the power away from her attacker and that’s what finally stopped her from continuing to be a victim…
That three minutes of dancing now can be done in one quick movement. She showed me the move, and I could feel the energy in her change. She calls it “changing her state”. In one move she is transferring the power of her mind into action by physical action. It’s an amazing thing to witness. It’s an amazing thing to feel.
Once she found that key she didn’t regain her life instantly, it took a lot longer than that. But it worked, She regained her love of life, came back stronger than ever. She changed her state in massive meaningful ways.
I’m here to tell you, Pamela is back.